Monday, March 16, 2009

Junk Mail

It happened again! J got another Flat-Whatever in the mail. Sometimes they are called Flat Stanleys. Sometimes they are Flat O'Mally's. Whatever! Talk about junk mail!!

And what really ticks me off is the way that the "letter" is worded. They make it sound so innocent and fun and...educational! In scrawling letters the request was made for J to "do something fun" with the enclosed piece of paper, write a story about that adventure, and then mail it back to the child's classroom . Enclosed with the letter was an Irish looking man colored in green crayon. Flat O'Malley!

I have just a couple of issues. First of all, I barely have time to make sure my 4 kids have all their homework done let alone making sure that this other kid in a different state gets her homework done.

Second of all, the letter should have been addressed to me or D because we are the ones who are going to have to do all the work on making this happen. Let's just be realistic, can't we!?

Thirdly, and the real issue that is most pressing, what on earth happens if we somehow manage to lose this Flat Irish Guy in the mass of paperwork that I am already laboring under? Because that is exactly what has happened. It is gone!! Vanished!!

Maybe his disappearance could be part of the Flat Guy's adventure. We could say we took him to D3's basketball game tonight (they made it to state--woohoo). The game was really fun until he got upset that D3 wasn't being played enough and was sitting on the bench. And then the Flat Irish Guy started yelling at the men wearing stripey shirts. This wasn't a very good plan since we were sitting on the front row. One of those zebra shirts snatched him off the bleachers and tore him up in little shreds. (Hmmm. A little graphic for 3rd grade. Maybe they just kicked him out of the game.) So he gets kicked out of the game and is killing time at the concession stand with a Coke when he all of a sudden realized he was Irish. He doesn't have to sit around waiting. He is like the Lucky Charms guy on the commercial. He can just "poof" and disappear back to where he came from...Ireland, of course.

What do you think? Think J's cousin (teacher, mom) will buy it? I think I am going to give it a shot. And the added bonus is that there is a very real possiblity that we will never be sent another Flat-whatever from this family again!

Note to self: Save yourself some stress. Next time the Flat-Whatever is sent to you, don't procastinate! Just do it and get it over with!!

1 comment:

Kellie said...

Think of the great stories you could write explaining where Flat Stanley went:

Flat Stanley and the Unfortunate Visit to the Paper Shredder.

Flat Stanley make a Great Paper Football.

Flat O'Malley Meets Really Not-So-Lucky Charm...he magically disappeared!