Friday, April 3, 2009

High Maintenance or Highly Valued

Let it be known that I am NOT a fan of high maintenance girls!

So occasionally, I will tell my somewhat dramatic, 8-days-from-being-13, young daughter to not be so high maintenance. It is light hearted and she gets the picture to tone down her behavior a notch. But not too long ago, around a round table of extended family and friends at a birthday party, this little ploy backfired on me badly.

Have you ever been to a real live spelling bee? Occasionally when a hard word comes along, the contestant will need to buy some time to think and will ask for a definition of the word. C decided to use this same strategy...on being told to not be high maintenance, she politely requested a definition.

It is amazing how all other conversations around the table seemed to instantly cease. And in that brief moment of silence I knew that I could get into real trouble real quick. As I stuttered through a few descriptive words that totally applied to several of the ladies present and tried to not make eye contact with those ladies, I realized that there was no delicate way to continue on this topic. Additionally, I was having a hard time coming up with a definition that didn't describe myself! I changed the subject as soon as possible.

That whole situation is really very funny to look back on. But I still need a definition for C, and so I have come up with my own definition so that she can be very clear on what behavior patterns exactly it is that I am trying to discourage.

high-maintenance girl (hi mane tin ants gurl) adj. Description of a female whose standard of personal preservation is more then the normal amount usually resulting in large expenditures of time, money, and effort.

For example:

1. Hair, nails, skin, and body must be pampered and primed to perfection at all times. Nothing must alter that perfection (such as camping, ironing, yard/house work, age, etc.). Appearance is very important.

2. Shopping is an art and shoes can be considered a hobby. There are specific stores, though, that are unworthy of a H.M. girls' style (think re-sale and WalMart).

3. Entertainment for the H.M. girl must be often and creative. "Dinner and a movie...again?!"

4. Topics of conversation with a H.M. girl are limited to what they consider amusing and all other topics will result in a one-sided conversation.

5. H.M. girls do not toil and neither do they spin...they are simply decorative in nature.

6. The focus of the high-maintenance girl is to get her way...this will surely bring her happiness.

Synonyms: Princess, Spoiled

What is scary to me is that as much as I dislike this kind of girl in definition, and as sinful as some of these attitudes really are, I still see some of myself in this definition.

What I really want to define my girls and myself is this:

Highly-valued girl (hi le valu d gurl) adj. Description of a female whose standard of living is based on the knowledge that she is a precious child of God created for His wonderful purposes.

1. Embraces the physical beauty God has granted her and chases the inward beauty He most values...a gentle and quiet spirit before Him.

2. Study of God's Word is an art. Because she knows Truth, she welcomes whatever adventure God brings her way and spends time enjoying the good gifts that God gives her without guilt.

3. Understands that fun and peace can easily be found in the simple things of life.

4. Works relationally to reach out to others and connect with them on a personal level.

5. Recognizes service to others in the name of Jesus will bring eternal rewards and great personal fulfillment.

6. The focus of the highly-valued girl is to follow God's Way...this will bring her joy.

Synonyms: Princess, Treasured

1 comment:

Blue Skies said...

What an awesome post. I have a young one who is showing signs of being HM her self. I like your contrast of HM vs Highly Valued. A great tool I will save in my toolbelt for later use.